After you check out my video on the Social and Essential selves, take some time to test your Social-Essential connection with this quiz from Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
| My life feels like a great adventure. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel sure I can solve any problem I encounter. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I have fun. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I laugh out loud. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel overwhelmed by gratitude. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I spend time in comfortable solitude. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I am fascinated by things I am learning. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel deeply understood. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| Things just seem to work out for me. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I get so involved in projects, I forget to stop. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I use my imagination. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I do things I loved when I was a kid. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| People seem to enjoy being around me. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I play. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel perfectly safe. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I get excited when it’s time to go to work. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel mentally sharp and alert. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I have really cool ideas. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I love my body. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I am flooded with love for other people. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I do new things, or old things in new ways. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I do what I want to, even if it’s scary. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I am completely relaxed with other people. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I feel intense physical pleasure. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
| I am very pleased with myself in general. | |||
| often | sometimes | rarely | never |
SCORING:
Some people (especially those who warm to standardized tests) get somewhat annoyed over how this test is scored:
If you didn’t answer “often” to every one of the questions, your social self and your essential self could really benefit from a stronger connection.
Before you get irritated, let me challenge you to pick out the items that you should not experience often. It could very well be that your social self is trying to take over and convince you it is wicked and morally corrupt to want all of these things “often”. You may never achieve a perfect score on this test. But you should never stop trying to.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I respect your assessment that all answers should be often; and I agree one should strive to be less structured.
WOOT
I hope this doesn’t make me angry either. I think these quizes are usually correct.
Tamera – Thanks for your comment. Tell me more about being less structured.
Tina – I’m hoping that’s a good WOOT
mvilard – it’s interesting how often people get angry over these types of quizzes. that’s really the social self getting all uncomfortable and defensive about the idea of being happy all or nearly all of the time – it’s tough to achieve that w/out upsetting someone & the social self just hates to upset anyone!
I know I choose sometimes alot because I feel if you choose often it should be all the time and I dont feel that way in some of those questions. So I felt sometimes would be right in the middle.
Tammy – ‘Sometimes’ is a great start. I invite you to think about striving for often. This can make some people feel guilty or selfish, but why would you not want to feel this way often? You deserve it, and the people around you will be much happier if you feel that way!
I think as you get older, more responsibilities, more stress, you forget how to think or feel certain ways.
Michelle – I think you are right. Some people have forgotten how to feel free, exhilarated, relaxed, joyful, etc. The scary thing is that many of those people are not even aware that they are unhappy or unfulfilled. They are just going through the motions. I know I myself had forgotten how to feel those positive emotions, and am grateful that I rediscovered them!